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The 5 Star Truth: Sausage Fest

Date Added: September 08, 2006
Story By: Mike Steele

A lot of people who don’t like wrestling often tease fans by calling wrestling gay. They make observations about the shirtless, oiled up men in tights feeling eachother up in the ring. While I used to notice the same things when I first became a fan, I almost never think about it all any more. But it should be completely noticeable. I wonder if I am in denial about the obvious homosexual qualities of wrestling. Or maybe I am just mature and ignore the childish criticisms.

Every time I watch wrestling I see half naked men touching and grabbing eachother. A simple scoop slam involves one guy grabbing another guy’s crotch/ass area. Powerbombs and piledrivers involve crotch to face positions. Many wrestlers come down to the ring all oiled up, looking like male strippers. Bulges are clearly visible in the tights of all male wrestlers. German Suplexes and Pump Handle Slams look like doggy-style anal sex. It’s all right there in front of our eyes. But it doesn’t repulse us or make us uncomfortable. We look completely past this like it’s not even there. No one attempts to make wrestling look less homosexual and no one complains about it. These tough men with twice the testosterone of most men have no problem with being half naked and grappling eachother. In real life we won’t even let our friends touch us with a finger let alone grabbing us, especially while half naked. But then again, in locker rooms in schools and gyms men walk around naked and shower in front of eachother like it’s nothing.

I just find it strange that men like Undertaker, Steve Austin, and Chris Benoit, legit tough guys, don’t mind it. Wrestling hopefuls that join wrestling schools don’t quit in masses because they can't stand the awkward physical contact. Maybe it’s because it’s acceptable to touch men in wrestling, but in real life men are too uncomfortable with their sexuality to let anyone touch them. They’re afraid of having what could be perceived as even the smallest gay moment with another man. It’s all deep voices, tough talk, and manly-man posture with friends. Then they go home and are completely whipped by their girlfriends and watch chick flicks without giving it a second thought in the safety of their homes.

When the subject of homosexuality does come up in a storyline such as with Rico and sort of with Vito, it’s made out to be such a foreign issue, like wrestling isn’t borderline gay already. JBL makes such a big deal about Vito wearing a dress, when it’s usually twice as much as his opponents are wearing, and they play up his finisher with the crotch in the face. Oh wow, he’s wearing skimpy tights under there! Hmmm, somehow being under a dress makes it dirtier than when he wore it before. At least it’s not an unwashed sock that Mick Foley keeps in his underwear.

As wrestling fans we also try to have dignity, not accepting overly childish vignettes and promos and paying no attention to the sexual content. Many fans look down upon the near naked divas and scold Jerry Lawler for being obsessed with their body parts. In a way, this makes us look gay for not sharing the sentiments of Lawler, wanting to see as much tits and ass as possible. Instead we ask for more sweaty men groping eachother to take their place. Again, it comes down to maturity and wanting certain things at certain times and in limited doses.

In the end it’s really an issue of perception and intention. If it’s not meant to be gay, it’s not. And if you don’t see it as gay, then it’s not a big deal. If you can easily look past the homosexual aspects of wrestling then there’s no issue. But sometimes you just realize that wrestling can be pretty gay on the surface. At school I don’t even like loading up wrestling sites because I don’t want to have to explain why I am looking at sweaty shirtless men. I am embarrassed about wrestling sometimes for that reason, but just watching it alone I never even think about it. Thankfully my maturity completely blocks it out of my mind most of the time and I can enjoy what is really going on.

-Mike Steele

twvmikesteele@yahoo.com

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