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Just A Thought... - Dear Santa
Date Added: December 23, 2007
Story By: Stuart Black
Hi Santa, it’s me again. I thought I’d start this year’s letter off by asking about you for a change. All those kids writing about nothing but themselves – how good they’ve been and what they want for Christmas… do you ever get the feeling that’s all they care about? So… how’s things? Hope Mrs Clause got over that flu and Blitzen’s leg is all healed up. Who’d have thought Rudolph’s bright nose was a tumour, eh? Strange world. Hope the chemo is going well, tell him to hang in there from me.
Anyways, there’s no point beating about the bush. I know you know if I’ve been naughty or nice, it’s what the song says after all. I suppose if I’m brutally honest, I’ve tried my best but you and I are both aware of, shall we say “lapses” over the last 12 months. The real low light for me has to be that incident back at Easter. Let’s just say you know what I did, I know what I did, I regret it and we’ll speak no more on the matter. She agreed not to press charges, so I guess I can’t have hoped for much better really.
So here’s the deal. I know I probably don’t really deserve any toys this year. It also doesn’t help that I’m turning 23 next month and therefore perhaps a little older than your average client. Therefore I have a proposal I would like to spend my Christmas wishes on those at WWE who have taken the time to entertain me over the last year and I hope that both myself and fans alike would benefit if you are able to oblige. If that act of unselfishness is enough for you to find it in your heart to make a short drop off on your delivery route my way on December 24th, I would be very grateful. I will be sure to leave out cookies and milk in anticipation of your impending visit.
I’d like to start with an easy one, because I think it’s in motion already. Could you get Triple H and Shawn Michaels to spend the next year really helping put over a couple of young stars on Raw please? Jeff Hardy getting the clean win over Hunter at Armageddon was a welcome surprise and I know the Heartbreak Kid has the ability to put Mr Kennedy that giant step closer to a permanent mainstay as a Main Event talent. I think they will get there eventually but those two really have the power to bring it forward if they so wish. Sure, there are rumours of politics and power games, there always have been, but it would be wonderful to see a couple more bona fide Players arrive on the title scene by this time next year.
As for the Blue Brand, well I guess that one’s a little harder. They’ve had a Raw Deal (get it?) whenever it’s come to talent exchanges over the last few years, but they really do have the tools and the potential to put on some great shows when they pull out all the stops. I feel what they need right now is more substance. I feel with them that there is a handful of top talents but not much underneath. Sure, MVP, Matt Hardy and Finlay deliver regularly, but with Cruiserweights and Tag Teams slighted all the time, I guess what I’d like for them is for some of the guys lower down to get a little more time and a real chance to shine in their own way. Just like the last wish I think they are already happening, but if you could bump things along a bit, that would be cool.
Oh you know what would really be awesome, Santa? Could you convince Vince McMahon to try a whole rivalry existing from start to Pay Per View event exclusively online? Pick two lower talents, have them trade words in video promos on wwe.com and maybe just have them brawling backstage on TV over the comments occasionally. It’s novel, it might fall on its backside, but it’s out there and might just work in getting some lower talent such much needed attention.
Next there is the third brand, the “red headed child” of the WWE bunch, ECW. I know you might frown at that “red headed child” comment, I get the feeling that in your younger days you might have had curly red locks of your own, but truth be told those aren’t my words. It does however some up the state of the Extreme brand right now. I still can’t work out, is it genuinely a third brand or is it now becoming with the talent exchange nothing more than Smackdown’s “B” Show? I hope that’s not the case, but it’s a feeling I’m getting. So my Christmas wish for them is simple – get those in charge to make a decision. Is it a third brand, or is it a “B” show? Tell them to pick one and go with it. I don’t mind which it is, so long as a decision is made. I think a lot of people would benefit from knowing where they truly stand.
So those are the more general gifts out the way. I understand if not all of those are entirely do-able, even for you, Santa. So I have a couple of smaller ideas that I’d like you to look into if you can offer me a consolation prize instead.
Firstly, Shelton Benjamin’s new push in ECW is great news. He is as many experts say a tremendous athlete with a lot of potential. I think I have a way of finally bringing that out however. Turn him face. Right now. I like this playing on the “Ain’t No Stoppin’ Me, No!” catchphrase and that’s exactly what needs to be done. That single phrase needs to embody his character completely. Think about it, he can be lightning quick, with over the top rope dives and bouncing onto the top turnbuckle out of nowhere. His main finisher is the lightning quick T-Bone Exploder Suplex, but he needs to build on it further. Santa, please give Shelty B for Christmas a new lightning quick submission (maybe something like the Tazz Mission or Cobra Clutch?) and let him just bound out to the ring like a big bundle of energy. Let his promos work at 200 miles an hour (his new slower ones don’t work for me) and just like his matches, let the momentum he brings physically translate to momentum up the card. The potential and the tools are there, they just need to play to his own strengths.
Secondly, can you please force an emergency rewrite into this year’s Royal Rumble? This is a big one I know, what with the winner probably already decided, but you see, back in January I did a column on this particular match (you can read it here: http://thewrestlingvoice.com/columns/stuartblack/headlines/170762078.shtml ) and I called for a real underdog winner:
“Why don’t we have someone on the low to mid-card win it with absolutely no fanfare beforehand at all? I know it sounds crazy because they go on to Main Event Wrestlemania, but I think the story could work. The guy comes from nowhere and sneaks a victory in the Rumble, one or two high carders complain, saying he doesn’t deserve to go to Wrestlemania and the winner spends the next two months building up to what is easily the biggest match of his life. You would be left with a real David versus Goliath match and although the Champion should probably win the match, the Challenger would give a good account of himself before slowly drifting back down the card, albeit with a little more respect from the rest of the roster and perhaps a greater appreciation from the fans for talents lower down the card as a whole.”
I think this would be a great year to do it, and I have a candidate in mind - Tommy Dreamer.
Here is a very experienced man respected by so many and yet confined to the current mid-card of WWE. I think he could acquit himself perfectly for the role described above and so Santa my gift to him is simple, the 2008 Royal Rumble. I know it’s out there, I know it’s a tall order, but I think if anyone can pull it off, it’s him.
OK, maybe that one can’t be done. Do you think then you could put in a request for the 2009 Rumble instead?
Just a thought…
Merry Christmas to all! If you have any thoughts on the above, feel free to share them with me at stuart_black@hotmail.com. Yes, I am aware that Family Guy suggested Rudolph’s nose is a tumour first, I am not that low as to pretend I actually thought up that piece of genius myself! Finally, I now have a Myspace page where you can read all my columns to date (currently under construction), feel free to pay me a visit at www.myspace.com/stuartblack
