WWE RAW Results (05/12/08) Jim Ross welcomes us to the Joe Louis Arena as we go into the show with the lights out in the arena. The lights come back on and William Regal is in the ring...
Stick a fork in the WWE's Tag Team division. It's pretty much done.
The once-proud division of duos is now all but null and void. For those of you needing concrete evidence, take into consideration Umaga's manhandling of former tag-team champs London and Kendrick in a handicap match on RAW. The hapless Spanky and Laughing Boy London got in nary an offensive maneuver against the Samoan Bulldozer. Adding insult to injury, Umaga picked up both teammates in a fireman's carry -- at the same time, no less -- and slammed them to the canvas with the Samoan Drop.
The outcome of the match alluded to what may be the eventual schism of the team with Brian Kendrick dodging an attack by Umaga, abandoning his partner in the ring to get beaten down and subsequently pinned.
One needs to look no further for proof of the division's downward spiral to see that neither the RAW or ECW/Smackdown Tag Team Champions are defending their titles at Wrestlemania, either. This isn't the first time that the Tag Team belts have not been defended at 'Mania. The flagship PPV's 24th installment stands as the second consecutive time the tag team title is absent from the lineup.
While it's doubtful that the belts are headed the same route as the recently-retired Cruiserweight Championship, Tag Teams have been reduced to a back burner position on the roster occupying a slot below the mid-card talent.
On a related note, the Tag Team division also seems to be a starter ground for second-generation superstars. While it's fairly well known that Cody Rhodes and Deuce are the sons of ring greats Dusty Rhodes and Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, respectively; Jesse (of Jesse & Festus fame) is actually the son of another legend, the late Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy.
Far from the storied days of great champions like the Dudleys, the Road Warriors, the Hart Foundation, and countless others, the WWE Tag Team Championship has been demoted to a title with training wheels. It's little more than a stepping stone to the (apparently) bigger and better singles' titles or a small reward for marked improvement. Otherwise, tag teams just don't hold the same (total combined) weight as they used to.
To tell you the truth, I had to reference WWE's homepage to remember who the RAW Tag Team Champions were. When I saw that it was Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly, I then realized why I had forgotten in the first place. This twosome is the chief exemplifier of what has become the standard policy of assembling a patchwork tag team. Achieved by slapping together a Felix and Oscar-esque odd couple, a number of tag teams -- and especially Tag Team Champions, as of late -- are usually two dudes with nothing in common but the shiny golden belts that they wear.
Rhodes and Holly aren't all that memorable as a tag team. Beyond the initial storyline appeal of the grizzled veteran taking the young, dewy newcomer under his wing after kicking his ass, there's not much there. From a talent-building standpoint, it's a great opportunity for a youngin' to learn the ropes from an old hand, one with more of an old school style that Rhodes could incorporate into his own, with time. However, besides being put together in awkward situations, you've got two guys who don't have much in common and neither of which have any real personality that fans can get behind enough to merit a turn with the belts or longevity as a team. This only underscores the transitory, secondary nature of the Tag Team division by involving guys who won't stick together for very long.
You hardly see any real tag teams together that have a cohesive look anymore, either. Take a look at teams like the Wild Samoans or Demolition. One look at them and you knew that they were a force to be reckoned with and had something in common, be it a disdain for salon products or a joint discount card at the Bondage Emporium.
The sole instance of a randomly assembled tag team of note that I can remember from the '80s, Strike Force with Tito Santana and Rick Martel, still ended up purchasing matching tights and manned up by taking a team name instead of just using their first and last names. Until only a few years ago, there was more effort made to brand a team as a unified front rather than what seems to be the Powers That Be's view of what to do with two guys without any immediate direction or storyline potential. For another example of this sentiment, take Smackdown's go-to guys to fill a spot on the card, "The Misfits" Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang who, prior to this minor career renaissance, have languished in storyline obscurity for some time. On the flipside, I have to mention how good the at-odds odd couple of John Cena and Randy Orton looked as an impromptu tag team on this week's edition of RAW. Surprisingly, these guys worked well together as a team and looked really good. I know I've dogged Cena recently, but I have to hand it to him and Orton for putting on a good show against the entire RAW roster this week.
But, I digress! Getting back to semi old-school tag teams vs. the new school, in the original ECW, you had guys like the Pit Bulls or (my personal favorite tag team of all time) the Eliminators who all wore outfits that made them look like a team, as well as boasting complimentary wrestling styles. Even the seemingly slapdash pairing of Rob Van Dam and Sabu as a tag team was still more logical than some of the factions making their rounds today. While on the surface, the cocky RVD had nothing in common with the stoic Sabu, their wrestling styles were very complimentary. Smart marks in the age of the internet could easily discover that both men had been trained by Sabu's uncle, the Original Sheik, Edward Farhat.
Sometimes the odd pairings work. A few years ago, the bizarre duo of Booker T and Goldust worked very well together, inside the ring and out, as evidenced by many memorable skits and promos. The clash of personalities between the manly-man Booker who was appalled by some of the attention-getting activities of his partner, Goldust, made for great TV that fans enjoyed. The storyline was further enriched by their eventually harmonious friendship solidified by a shared Championship.
The current ECW/Smackdown Tag Team Champions, Miz and Morrison, seem to be the heel version of Booker T and Goldust. With "Tough Enough" being the only common denominator the two may have (albeit different seasons of the reality show), surprisingly, Miz and Morrison have become one of the most entertaining teams on the whole WWE roster.
A veteran of tag team action, himself, Morrison, under the name Johnny Nitro, was one half of MNM. MNM was one of the better tag teams in recent years with a common image (most of which Morrison has retained in his current incarnation) and great move sets that showcased how well Joey Mercury and the former-Nitro worked together. A lot of the essence of MNM has been incorporated into the Miz and Morrison combo with the snark factor intensified by giving the guys some time on the mike with "The Dirt Sheet," a weekly gossip-fest featuring the Tag Team Champions as co-hosts and shown exclusively on WWE's website. Surprisingly enough, Miz and Morrison's "Dirt Sheet" is the closest thing fans today have to the original "Miserlou"-backed ECW promo segments, preserving the old promotion's edgy nature of wrestlers' mike skills and giving them a forum to showcase it.
How long the Miz and Morrison reign and "The Dirt Sheet" will last is debatable. The past week's installment of Smackdown had the two men squaring off against one another for a coveted spot in the Wrestlemania "Money in the Bank" match, which Morrison snapped up. Going by the standard Professional Wrestling/Sports Entertainment Handbook, this is usually the first sign of a soon-to-be-dismantled team. It's a shame, too, as they had really grown on me and a lot of other fans, too.
Primed to take Miz and Morrison's spot as ECW/Smackdown Champions are the likeable backwoods combo of the good-natured yet simple-minded Jesse and the even more simple-minded Festus. A much more intentionally hilarious, modern-day version of "Of Mice and Men," wild-eyed Jesse acts as the group's mouthpiece thanks Festus' "problem" of turning into a rage machine when the bell rings, but reverting back to an overly introverted state afterwards.
While some tag teams are upwardly mobile, a lot of other ones are lurking in the abyss of jobberdom. Once Tag Team Champions, Deuce and Domino are currently on a losing streak, and well, seeing the greasers square off against Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang gets old after several months on end. Meanwhile, the Highlanders; London & Kendrick; and Murdoch & Cade had injured members out of action for some time, slowing their momentum. Unfortunately, it wasn't like any of the teams had much going on in the way of storylines. Even before injuries occurred, not much effort was being made to get the Highlanders' heel turn on air, nor the friction between Murdoch and Cade along with the fledgling flirtation between Trevor Murdoch and former Women's Champion, Mickie James. It's a shame, as these could have been fun, interesting storylines for two underrated tag teams.
Indeed, there really does seem to be "No Country for Tag Teams." Maybe, now in the golden age of wrestlers as marketable commodities as opposed to pure talent, there isn't as much "payoff" in doling out a salary to two wrestlers as tandem than there is just an individual. There doesn't seem to be much of an explanation for the downgrading of the division beyond that. With three television shows and at least five hours of WWE programming, surely there is room enough for tag teams to act as well-oiled machines and showcase something different, besides the onslaught of one-on-one action or slapdash assemblages of random guys as "teams." The long-standing tradition of great tag teams has fallen by the wayside as a result.
