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The Raw Riposte

Date Added: July 13, 2010
Story By: Patrick Jackson

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what you are thinking. "You said you don't watch RAW!" Correct. But with SmackDown getting raped in the draft and it being on a Friday Night, it isn't something I watch as much anymore. So I decided to watch RAW and write up a little something. Lets start it off...

Apparently, there is a 7 on 1 Handicap Match tonight: John Cena vs The Nexus. Darren Young is "hurt" so it is now only 6 on 1. John Cena comes out and said that Sheamus didn't come out last week and help him. And that he should realize that it is all of the WWE vs Nexus. Then he talked some smack, while saying he is going to rip his face off and replace with his ass...I mean butt. He said no one can interfere in a Steel Cage Match...really John? Why can't then just open the door? Whatever. I forgot, no questions.

I love "Orange John Cena". Hopefully he gets a Neon Green shirt next so he can be "Neon Green John Cena". Anyway, Nexus came out with there shirts that say "N". John made a joke about it, and then Wade said John is going to get everyone what he deserves. E-Mail Time. Damn, does Cole get heat. While he read the E-Mail we got a "What?" chant. It was awesome (Awesome in RAW terms). If anyone interferes for John, they get suspended for 90 days. If the Nexus dosn't tag in and out, they will be suspended for 90 days. Then Barrett and Cena exchanged some words but I wasn't listening. To commercial we go!

Back on RAW, Eve is looking gorgeous as usual. She will be doing commentary. Woo! Or maybe Woo? Moving on, Alicia Fox comes out looking very good as well. She taunts Eve a little bit until Gail Kim makes here way out. And we have ourselves our first match of the night.

Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim
-This was about 2 minutes. Gail dominated in the early going (which was all of 20 seconds), went back and forth until Gail Kim regained control. Alicia Fox ended up winning with, I guess her finish, a kick to the head. She taunted Eve after she won. Even took of the head set and was about to enter the ring until...E-Mail Time! Alicia vs Eve for the Diva's Championship this Sunday. Cole once again got a "What" chant.
Match Rating: 1/2*

Hart Dynasty comes out and it is a 6 person tag team match. Good to see Natalya getting some work. She is very good wrestler. Out come the Usos with Tamina. They'll also be facing off at MITB. Bell rings to start the match.

Hart Dynasty vs Usos
-I'm a big fan of Tyson Kidd. if he was taller Vince would take hims seriously. You know how at Amusement Parks they have a sign that says "you must be this tall to ride this ride". Same applies with the WWE Champioship. I can't confirm that, but you know what? I can't deny that either. The match it self was a short 3 minute match. I don't think either girl even got in. I'm impressed with the Usos, they have a lot of talent. Still very young.
Match Rating: *

Wade Barrett is thanking Chris Jericho for everything. Matthews ask Jericho for a comment, but Jericho says "No Comment. Barrett talks some smack with Tatsu, and then the rest of the Nexus beat him down. Poor Yoshi Tatsu, if only he was on SmackDown.

Ted DiBiase comes out with Maryse. DiBiase is just missing something. He just doesn't have anything that separates himself. I like the idea with giving Maryse as a valet though. Haha, Dibiase said "when I win Money in Bank". I thought it was funny. John Morrison came out. I wish when I entered somewhere my long, beautiful hair blew in the wind in slow motion. Too bad I don't have long hair. Anyway, Maryse spoke some french to Morrison. Morrison translated. He was too "kiddy" with it. John Cena must have helped him with his promo. DiBiase attacked Morrison, but Morrison gained the upper hand. Luckily, Maryse interfered and DiBiase and here escaped. I'm in the middle on if this segment was good or bad.

Here's the story....WHY THE F#*% IS MRS. BRADY HOSTING RAW?!?! Don't get me wrong, Mrs. Brady is the shit, but not when she is on RAW. If someone told Florence Henderson 35 years ago that she would be hosting a wrestling show, she would probably tell you to screw off. This segment was a whole bunch of fail.

As a Yankee Fan, sad day for me. RIP George Steinbrenner. There are a lot of people who hated him, but no one can say he didn't give everything he had to win. MLB is gonna miss ya, George.

An hour into it, and we have our 3rd match: Edge vs Randy Orton. I wasn't interested in this feud last time I watched RAW, hopefully it is more interesting. I love heel Edge, face just doesn't work for him. Just a natural heel. Huge pop for Orton. I'm 99% sure Orton's face turn was a complete accident. Just saying. Why doesn't Orton wear the tape around his wrist anymore? He looks weird without them.

Edge vs Randy Orton
-See, I don't think I could be a wrestler because if Orton (or anyone wrestler) accidentally stomped on my head, I would probably get up and start fighting him. Back to the match, very, very good match. 12-13 minute match. Orton is pounding on the ground until Jericho comes down and distracts him. Edge got a roll up for the win. Jericho came in and hit the Codebreaker on Edge. Orton hit an RKO on Jericho. Bourne hit a kick to the face on Orton. Bourne went for Air Bourne and got RKO'd in MID AIR. Wow...that was sick.
Match rating: ***

We go to the back, Josh Matthews is interviewing Skip Sheffield who just walks away. While walking away, he bumps into Morrison. The two talk crap, and then NExus surrounds Morrison. Morrison fights back, until Nexus gets the upper hand and beats him down. Cool beat down.

The Miz is out! Yes! I'm a big fan of The Miz. One of the best on the mic. He shows us what he did to R-Truth: injure him and take him out of the MITB. The Miz doesn't need a ladder, just his bare hands. Like usual, a very good promo by The Miz. At the end, we got an E-Mail saying he would face Mark Henry, R-Truth replacement. That isn't fair. Can Mark Henry climb a ladder? I'm not joking, dead serious. I hate Henry as a face. Please make him a heel. Much better that way.

The Miz vs Mark Henry
-The Miz dumped garbage all over Mark Henry. This wasn't much of a match since it was all of one minute. Henry over sold this as well. It was a plastic garbage can. Couldn't have hurt that much? Let alone on a 6'2 400 man.
Match Rating: NR

Florence Henderson came out, I still don't care. Lawler told us the Brady Bunch was like fudge...Mostly sweet, but a few nuts. Please, make it stop. 8 Man Brady Bunch Match? Oh God. When did Doink the Clown come back? More importantly, why?!?

Santino Bunch vs Regal Bunch
-Santino did the "Fear the Cobra". I won't lie, I gave a chuckle. Everyone got cleared out, we were left with The Great Khali and Doink. Doink had a water gun. Khali didn't care, and then hit the Khali Chop for the win. Thank God this is over.
Match Rating: Reeking of Suckitude

After the match Santino was trying to get a hug from Mrs Brady, but Mrs Brady kissed The Great Khali instead. Did anyone find this funny?

Michael Phelps was on a Subway Commercial. He said he liked a little kick. I think he meant to say bong. Back to RAW...

We get Edge backstage for an interview with Josh Matthews. Edge said he was the favorite because he has been in more MITB Ladder Matches and has won more MITB Matches than anyone else. He said a little voice in the back of his head tells him to be ruthless. Really good promo from Edge. I really liked it.

Next we see Bourne getting ice back stage. Sheamus talks some smack, until we see Nexus surround Bourne. Sheamus flees, and then beat down Bourne. Guess Bounre has no friends to help him? Nexus leaves, leaving Bourne on the ground. Sheamus comes back, tells him that he shoudl have learned his lesson. Nexus then comes back, and Sheamus sprints out of there and ask someone where Cena's locker room was. Just putting over Nexus. Main Event is next.

John Cena vs Nexus (No Black Cena though)
-I like all the Nexus guys except Slater. Just something about him irks me. Probably the hair. Plus, everywhere else he is just so vanilla. All of the Nexus guys beat down Cena for the first 5 minutes or so until Cena makes a comeback on Otunga and Barrett. Vintage Cena! Not my words. Cena sets up the 5-Knuckle Shuffle on Barrett. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Barrett, but Barrett tagged in Sheffiield before Cena was able to hit it. All the Nexus took turns beating down Cena. Gabriel sets up for the 450 Splash, and hits it for the win.
Match Rating: 3/4*

After the match Cena hit a punch on Barrett, and escaped. Got steel chair, nailed Slater with it. Nexus scrambled. Then they surrounded the ring. Cena has blood running down his face while he screams for them to come in. Sheamus comes down to the ring with a steel chair and they clean out the Nexus. We end RAW with Sheamus and Cena in the ring with steel chairs. I would have liked to see them brawl to end the show, but who cares?

Star of the Night: Orton - The RKO on Bourne was sick.

Final Thoughts: Above-Average RAW. We had some stupid matches, but Edge and Orton's match was the highlight of the night. The promos were good as well. I'll give it a 6/10. Pretty favorably, but beat my low expectations. Definitely want to see better, but it wasn't bad.

My first article in quite some time. Feels good to get another one out there. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Will I do "The Raw Riposte" every week? Probably not, but I'll try to get something out once a week. If you're wondering why I chose riposte...I don't know. I liked how it sounded? Yeah, lets go with that. Summer is a busy time though, but I will have the MITB Prediction article out sometime this week. Keep reading all my articles. Although for now, I'm out. Thanks for reading.

See ya later.

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