WWE RAW Results (05/12/08) Jim Ross welcomes us to the Joe Louis Arena as we go into the show with the lights out in the arena. The lights come back on and William Regal is in the ring...
By Phil DiLiegro and f4wonline.com Live from Wilkes-Barre, PA.
15 Minutes of Fame: The Miz & John Morrison v. Shannon Moore & Jimmy Wang Yang
This is such a dumb concept for so many reasons. Firstly, the lesson of ironman matches on television and also at the arena is that many fans do not care until the end since you know it’s coming down to the last minute. Secondly, having the match go fifteen minutes eliminates whatever prestige comes along with the ironman gimmick and removes none of the negatives. Thirdly, they will foresee the need to squeeze in at least three falls in such a period of time which could lead to strange and awkward finishes. Finally, we just had a bevy of gimmick matches last night, so this one loses its impact (pun intended) coming just the night after.
Moore hit a couple of sharp-looking near falls early. Morrison got the heat shortly thereafter on Moore and went to a rest hold after a knee lift. Yang got a quick hot tag, hit two clotheslines and kicks, and followed that with a monkey flip. Morrison takes a great bump on that move, doing a complete revolution. Meanwhile, Moore hit a huracanrana from the top onto Mizanin. An awkward exchange over a victory roll followed for Yang and Morrison. Suddenly, Miz distracted Yang allowing Morrison to roll him up for a pin at 3:40. That type of dopey finish is exactly what I feared here. After the commercial break, the heels continued to work over Yang until we had another sudden fall at 8:42. Yang pushed off of a superplex attempt and hit a moonsault for another unconvincing pinfall. Miz came in and began to work on the legs of Yang using a half-Boston crab. Morrison followed with a submission hold of his own. Morrison hit an elbow from the apron onto Yang, draped over the knees of Miz. Moore finally got the hot tag with t:30 remaining and connected with a plancha onto Miz. Yang followed with a crossbody off the top onto Morrison. They teased a late near fall as Moore hit a corkscrew moonsault, which came up short, for a two count. A roundhouse from Yang got another late near fall. A last-ditch moonsault, which came up short again, connected as the bell rang. The combination of the constraints of the gimmick, the over-reliance on rest holds from the champions, and the sloppiness of the late aerial moves led to a very disappointing opener.
Miz & Morrison drew Moore & Yang, 1-1, 15:00, *¾.
Tazz introduced and Colin Delaney and introduced a video package of last week’s squash with Big Daddy V. The footage which aired as part of one of those commercially-sponsored segments during the break never came up. Whoops. Delaney, with his ribs taped, saved the segment by squirming in pain using the age-old “so bad it’s good” style of delivery. Colin looked to leave but Tazz told him he’s facing Mark Henry.
Mark Henry v. Colin Delaney
Henry hit “a bowling-ball like head butt”, so remarked Joey Styles, to start. He then threw Delaney in the air (a nice bump), connected with a banzai drop and finished with the world strongest slam for the win. They have written an effective start to this gimmick with Delaney and have picked the right guy, but eventually it has to go beyond him getting squashed each week.
Henry d. Delaney, Pin, 1:04, squash.
Kofi Kingston took objection to a man who knocked over a young girl’s sandcastle. You can surmise the rest.
Diva search runner-up Lena Yada (she has a last name, unlike most of the ladies) introduced Kelly Kelly and Layla for a dance contest. This had bad idea written all over it as Layla, the heel, as a former professional, is a vastly superior dancer. Layla did an impressive looking dance while Kelly could only resort to taking off her top and playing to the crowd. Still, being the babyface, Kelly won the crowd’s approval. Lena entered herself in the competition and delivered a mediocre performance to the disdain of the crowd who could tell how green she was (and she was worse on the microphone). Lena pronounced herself the winner.
Shelton Benjamin delivered a solid, short promo on his Royal Rumble aspirations.
CM Punk v. Chavo Guerrero
This is exactly like last week’s main event whereby Guerrero must beat Punk to attain a title shot. Punk hit an early monkey flip and went to a headlock to pick up the early advantage. Chavo switched that into a headscissors. Standing up, Punk hit a crisp enzuigiri to send Chavo outside and the match to a commercial break. Returning to live action, we find Chavo working an abdominal stretch, quickly transitioned into another rest hold. The first eight minutes or so in this contest have been awfully dull. Punk teased a comeback with some an inside cradle and kicks to the legs but Chavo kept the advantage with a body scissors. The crowd grew rapidly restless and quiet by this point. Punk woke everyone up by switching positions a slingshotting Chavo to the floor and following him out with a plancha. Back inside, Punk hit an elbow onto a standing Chavo for a two count. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a rolling cradle earned two counts for Punk and Chavo, respectively. The oft-used running knee and bulldog combination scored another near fall for the champion. Chavo turned the match around and, in a spot lifted from last week, saw the third of the three amigos countered into a go to sleep attempt. Guerrero escaped and hit a backbreaker for a close two count. The crowd returned at this point with a chant for the champion. The match came to an abrupt and terrible conclusion when Scott Armstrong disqualified Chavo Guerrero for just bringing the championship belt in the ring. CM Punk then connected with a go to sleep as the broadcast concluded. The bout picked up quite a bit leading up until the lousy finish, but overall was decent at best. This feud was short on excitement prior to tonight and that lousy booking which made Chavo look like a total goof will not help matters.
