The Trademark RantsStory By: Michael Johns
May 24, 2003
"The more you take, the more you blame
But everything still feels the same
The more you hurt the more you scream
The price you pay to play the game
Then all you see and all you gave
And all you step on will know shame
There are no rules, no one to blame
The price to play the game"
- From "Price to Play" by Staind
In case anyone cares, the one year anniversary of The Trademark Rants' first official appearance on a wrestling news website is coming up (April 29th, in fact), which means that I've been doing this crap for an entire year now. I was going to write some sort of grand, complex, and insightful column about my first year on the 'Net, but writing a column of that magnitude, or any other piece, for that matter, is actually a lot harder to do than most people think. You can't just wake up one morning and say, "I'm going to write something provocative and meaningful, which is really going to open people's eyes and make them think," then expect it to happen. It doesn’t work that way. More often than not, you'll find yourself stumped at your computer, working through a major case of writer's block. And even if you do manage to write something at all, it'll hardly be the provocative and meaningful piece you had intended to write. But, since you have a deadline to meet, and a legion of "fans" (if I actually have any. I have a following that consists of people who actually LIKE what I do, but I'm not too sure they all qualify as "fans". To have "fans", one must be somewhat famous, and well… I'm not) who're demanding the next installment of your column, you post it anyway, hoping that maybe you'll meet up to your own lofty standards next week. So, the actually likelihood that any writer actually writing something meaningful when they want to is rather minuscule. Now, there's always the exception of the 40 year-old virgin whose standards of a meaningful column are, at best, complete garbage, but I imagine enough of you have read enough on the 'Net to know what I'm talking about, so I don’t think I need to explain any further. Anyway, back to the subject at hand, most writers set out to write something grand, and usually end up only writing something decent. And even if the column they only thought was "decent" actually ends up being "grand", most writers usually don't realize that until after the fact. At least, I never have.
So, how does one write a wrestling commentary that anyone should actually care about? Well, there's always the fail-safe plan of "Dissing an Unpopular Wrestler", which seems to drum up a lot of response from people. Anti-Triple H columns are very popular, but often become redundant, as they provide no confirmed proof, no first-hand witnesses, and no real "new" information. They just state what we already know, and never actually PROVE beyond a shadow of a doubt that Triple H is in any way doing anything that Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, the Undertaker, Ric Flair, or any other Main Event-level star in Wrestling, hasn't done. They always bitch about how Triple H sits in on creative meetings, while never pointing out that said meetings are open to the wrestlers, or that the creative staff ENCOURAGES wrestlers' input. They never mention that Ric Flair, or Kurt Angle, or The Rock, or any other person that has shown up for these meetings. They don't even have the wherewithal to realize that the Creative Department OUTRANKS Triple H, and at any given time, they can decide to go against Triple H's wishes. They just assume he's in control because he's with Stephanie, which should be a non-issue in itself. People complain about Triple H and Stephanie's relationship, and how that is supposedly a conflict of interest, yet they fail to realize that in wrestling, there really is no such thing as a "conflict of interest". In wrestling, children work for their parents, wives manage their husbands, girlfriends and boyfriends work angles against one another, and wrestlers have interpersonal relationships (sexual and otherwise) with coworkers constantly. For the most part, things that would be considered "conflicts of interest" in other businesses are par for the course in wrestling. It's a continuation of the "secret society" mentality of professional wrestling, really, by associating with people who are already within the business.
For example, Jeff Jarrett works for his father, Jerry Jarrett, in NWA-TNA, yet nobody seems to care about that. Jeff probably has a hand in the booking and sits in on creative meetings all the time, but you never hear about it on the Internet. On the other hand, Triple H sits in on a creative meeting and the whole world is talking about how Triple H has a conflict of interest. All this proves is that reports posted on the Internet are grossly biased, and Editorial Writers only aggravate the injustice of said biased reporting, targeting Triple H for reasons that NO ONE can logically explain. It also proves that fans STILL don’t understand that the Wrestling is more like a Secret Society or an organized crime syndicate than a mere business, thus the rules of business in wrestling are nowhere near the conventional rules that you and I are used to on the "outside". We don't know the rules, we'll never really know all of the rules, and anyone who writes me and claims that they know all of the rules better be prepared to offer up a long list of legitimate credentials, and have said credentials scrutinized to nearly insane ends. We live in the age of information, folks. There's no such thing as anonymity in this age, and even the best liars can be caught.
Another thing people complain about is how Triple H is marrying Stephanie McMahon, and how he's using her to further manipulate the WWE, as if he was actually shallow enough to marry a woman simply to further his career, or something. Sometimes I wonder why people keep saying that Triple H is only marrying Stephanie for the power. I mean, is it so hard to believe that a man could actually be physically and emotionally attracted to Stephanie McMahon? That, I see as the average male fans' bias against full-figured women, which makes me sick. They look at a guy like Triple H, who's more built than practically any other man I've ever seen, then look at Stephanie, who's an obviously full-figured woman, and think something's up. It's almost as if these people just assume that if some buff dude has a full-figured girlfriend that he's just using her. They never actually believe that he might actually be IN LOVE with the girl or anything, which is just WRONG!!! Maybe if you guys would get out of your Torrie Wilson-induced fantasies for a second, you might just realize that the majority of women in the world are full-figured! And YES, it's possible for a buff guy to be attracted to a full-figured woman. Not everyone is attracted to super-skinny models, you know! And, while I'm at it, marriage is considered SACRED by many people. Unless you know, for a FACT, that Triple H is the kind of morally depraved individual who'd use a SACRED union to further his own interests, SHUT THE F*CK UP!!! Just because Triple H plays a morally depraved person on TELEVISION doesn't mean he's really like that! It's called FICTION! Look it up sometime…
So, is marrying your boss' daughter unethical in the world of wrestling? I don't know. Ask Larry Zbysko. He was married to Vern Gagne's daughter while Larry was working in AWA. He'd know the answer to this question more than anyone else I can think of. And while I may regret saying this, knowing that this man is single-handedly responsible for some of the most annoying color commentary I've ever forced myself to sit through, Larry Zbysko was a pretty good wrestler in his day. I don’t know if the tag of being a "Living Legend" is deserved, but Larry Zbysko was a good performer, which should count for something. The same can be said for Triple H. He isn't a Bret Hart or a Shawn Michaels by any means, but the guy can wrestle, and wrestle well. There's the occasion where H may undersell, but he doesn’t half-ass his way through matches the way others at his level do from time to time. Most people want to call him lazy, or slow, or whatever, and dis his ringwork, but that's simply not true. The people who dis H's ringwork are just desperate to build a case against Triple H, because they're so blinded by the grossly biased reports of H's "backstage tyranny" to notice that Triple H isn't doing anything that other Main Eventers haven't already done.
If Triple H can be accused of anything, it's that he has shown to have a very poor relationship with the wrestling fans on the Internet. At the same time, there is no good reason for Triple H to have ANY sort of relationship with the Internet WHATSOEVER! The 'Net HATES Triple H with a passion, and apparently, H has an issue with the 'Net, too. I mean, the man practically resorted to insults and name-calling on Byte This a few weeks back. Wrestlers talk about how the 'Net supposedly doesn’t matter or whatever, then go ballistic on Marks in interviews, often going out of their way to cheap shot writers they've never met. Apparently, the 'Net matters more to them than they'll admit, because if it didn’t, they wouldn’t even bother to trash the 'Net at all. For the most part, when a wrestler disses the 'Net, they're just fighting back. They see the 'Net Marks, people they've never met, dissing them on a message board or in a column, so they fire back, leaning on misconceptions about 'Net Writers to counter-attack. It's like a vicious rap-battle, where words are weapons, and credibility is on the line. The problem is that this isn’t hop-hop, this is wrestling, and this insane battle of credibility isn't doing anything to make wrestling shows any better. It's actually making it harder for fans to enjoy the shows, which, now that I think of it, may have been Chris Jericho's point all along when he "quit" the 'Net after last year's KOTR. He didn’t exactly word it in that way, mostly because of the anger and haste in which he wrote his final commentary (which is obvious, to say the least. It actually reminds me of letters I wrote to ex-girlfriends just after they dumped me, many of which I wrote in less than 10 minutes. Considering his travel schedule and the day his commentary appeared on his website, Jericho would have to have written that speech very quickly. It's quite possible that he wrote that in about 10-15 minutes, and was by far not the only thing on his mind at the time.), but it seems to be the intent, which most people didn’t catch. Zealots to Jericho's cause mistranslate his words to vilify practically everyone who's ever shared an opinion on the Internet (which is grossly unfair, and marks said zealots as hypocrites, as they too share an opinion over the Internet). Meanwhile, others have the obvious anger and frustration of his words and use that to claim that Jericho was a spoiled former Main Eventer who was bitter at the downturn of his own career and looking for someone to blame. The thing is that Jericho's words actually had NOTHING to do with either of those translations. He was just pissed off because he was seeing that people on the 'Net used their forums to spit battle tracks, so to speak, and dis the wrestlers they didn't like in an attempt to get themselves some attention. He was sick of it, so he shot off his response track, then left the game and quit the Internet for good. Jericho, for all intents and purposes, took the high road. It doesn't look like it, by the way he presented his final 'Net Commentary, but it seems to be the intent, which should be noted. Not everyone is happy only to send out one response tape and let a beef go. Just ask 50 Cent and Ja Rule, who are embroiled in possibly the most heated battle in recent memory.
Triple H, on the other hand, isn't set to just let this battle go. And why should he? He's got a lot more on the line that he's willing to admit. His entire personal life is being micro-examined by the 'Net, picked apart for everything it's worth, as well as his fiancee's, which would upset anyone. So it should be of no surprise to anyone that Triple H is dissing the 'Net so harshly. I'd do it too if people were talking trash about me and my girlfriend the way 'Net marks have about H and Steph. It doesn’t mean he's doing the "right" thing, though. He's doing the "human" thing, which you can't blame a man for. If you provoke someone long enough, they will fire back, and you can't be surprised when they do. It's the way life works.
So, you're probably thinking that Triple H paid me to say this, or some other crap like that. I WISH Triple H was paying me to say this, but unfortunately, he's not (although I wouldn’t mind if he did. It'd be nice to get PAID to do this sh*t once in a while…). I'm actually saying this under my own volition, with the rational thought process God saw fit to give me at birth. If you want the honest to God truth, I don't believe Triple H is innocent of backstage politics, but he hasn't been accused of anything worse than anyone else has ever been. He's learned to play the game form the Main Event players that came before him, and he apparently plays it well. It may not be fair, but it's the way the wrestling world works, and until someone goes in and changes it, that's the way it will always work. Should it work that way? Most of you will say "no", which is fine. But think about this for a second. Wrestling is entertainment, right? Now, think about all of the Hollywood stars, and all the different TV shows and movies they do. For example, Mel Gibson, one of Hollywood's biggest stars, has directed and produced movies that he has also starred in. Is that any different than Triple H, who chooses to sit in a WWE Creative Meeting and share his input? Not really. Mel takes the starring role, and no one ever complains about how Mel is "hogging the spotlight" or "holding down other actors", yet Triple H does practically the same thing, and he's persecuted through hell and high water for it. Wrestling is entertainment, folks, and if Triple H was smart (and if he's the "master manipulator" the 'Net makes him out to be, he has to be), this would be his exact argument against anyone who says his involvement creatively is a "conflict of interest". It obviously isn't a conflict of interest for Mel Gibson to star in movies that he is producing and/or directing.
So, in a general conclusion, I guess what I should say is that if you want to hate on the H, then that's fine. It's your opinion, and you're entitled to your opinion. At the same time, if you choose to attack a man because he is doing something you disapprove of, even thought it's a generally accepted practice in both the wrestling and entertainment industries, you're only making yourself look like a total ignoramus. Triple H doesn't believe he's wrong, and apparently, neither does WWE Management. Unless you can somehow convince one of those two parties that this is wrong, you're never going to win this fight. The only way to win is to not fight at all.
And that's about all I have to say about that. I guess a good 95% of you HATED this column, and that's fine. Feel free to mail all of your complaints, counter-points, arguments, tirades, and irrational death threats to me at TrademarkRants@aol.com. Thanks for reading, and if you really want to, although I don’t see why anyone would want to, you can check out another edition of The Trademark Rants sometime next week. Not that I actually expect you to or anything… It's just useless information to pass on to the remaining five or six readers who actually made it this far.
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