It just seems like we had a major pay per view and now we are being pushed into another one. The Royal Rumble feels like last week to me and now we have the Elimination Chamber upon us. The WWE does this from time to time, where they jam together two pay per views and then they wonder why the second one always struggles to get a high a buy rate….which is what leads us to our first of five predictions about Elimination Chamber.
1. Elimination Chamber will be the lowest rated Rock pay per view since his comeback. The Rock is a major draw, I get that, you get that, the WWE certainly gets that. However, $45.99 is a lot to as someone to shell out twice in under a month. I know I’ll be getting it but then again I’m an idiot who gets every pay per view but I highly doubt there are as many idiots out there as me. Now, I will also admit that this is a mighty high bar I set for Elimination Chamber seeing as The Rock has only been involved in three pay per views since his comeback. Survivor Series was his first time back, WrestleMania is WrestleMania and the Royal Rumble is always a big draw. With that said I couldn’t help but feel if they pushed this back two more weeks they’d see a much bigger number.
2. John Cena will be the one to win the six-man tag. WWE will want Cena to look good at the last pay per view before his title match. Ryback and Sheamus will do their part but Cena will get the victory. The Shield will do what they do which is be great in the ring and they’ll make Cena and company look good. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose are the future of the WWE, but this week they are the fodder from which the Cena is back fire grows. Cena had a rough 2012 but unfortunately, it looks like 2013 will be a very good year for WWE’s Superman.
3. Mark Henry will win the elimination chamber if Del Rio beats Big Show, but Orton will win if Big Show beats Del Rio. Mark Henry is back from is one-millionth trip to the disable list, and for some odd reason the WWE loves to push this guy. Mark Henry is a good big guy but he’s just not reliable. He has what he calls the hall of pain, but he’s in my Hall of guys who can’t stay healthy….alright that didn’t work and I apologize. My point is I can’t figure out why the WWE continues to put so much stock in Mark Henry. I think Orton wins if Big Show beats Del Rio because he’s the most obvious face winner in the chamber match. Chris Jericho can’t win a match anymore, and team Hell No won’t get the job done as the face going into the WrestleMania. Orton deserves to get out of the doghouse the WWE has him. I know I’ve been critical of him over the years but I think it’s time he gets another shot at the big time. Orton would be a great opponent for Big Show at WrestleMania.
4. I’ll be going to the bathroom and getting more food during the Diva’s Title Match. This prediction is self-explanatory. Neither one of these Divas is very interesting or talented, can we just agree to act as if we care who wins and move on. I mean PWI will probably be all chic and have it as its match of the night just to be different but come on we all know no one is watching this match with more interest beyond I hope there is a wardrobe malfunction.
5. The Rock will cleanly beat CM Punk. I know there is a stipulation that makes this interesting but I think it’s just a Red Herring. There is no way The Rock won at Rumble just to turn around and lose the title just a few weeks later at a lesser pay per view. As much as I’d like to see CM Punk win here, it just isn’t happening. The Rock will win via Rock Bottom and Paul Heyman is tossed from ringside at some point during the match. The only way this isn’t a clean victory is if Vince wants a three-way dance at WrestleMania but I don’t think that’s what he wants. No, I think the intrigue of Rock vs. Cena Two is too much for Vince and CM Punk would just in his mind get in the way.
There you have it my five predictions for Elimination Chamber. Be sure to tweet or email me what an idiot I am if these don’t come true. You can do that by tweeting me @JaredGebhardt or emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org.