AAA Triplemania XXVII Results: Mask vs Hair, Cain Velasquez Debuts, 7-Way Women’s TLC, Cody Rhodes, AEW vs AAA

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AAA Triplemania XXVII Results
Arena Ciudad de México
August 3, 2019


— After about 20 minutes of waiting it looks like the pre-show is finally live on the English feed and we’re about ready for our first match. Looks like no English commentary for the pre-show matches.

— Okay, I REALLY need to stress that this live coverage is being done by someone who does NOT watch a whole lot of AAA consistently, but my usual staff is all busy this weekend so you’re stuck with me. I watched last year’s Triplemania and it was a train wreck, so I’m very much looking forward to this either being really good, or so bad it’s enjoyable. Don’t disappoint me AAA!

ASTROLUX, DRAGON BANE & ARKANGEL DIVINO vs. ARAMIS, TOXIN & AREZ

Aramis and Dragon Bane started things out going back and forth with quick counters and some beautiful chain grappling, but things very quickly broke out into an insane brawl. At one point all six guys were intertwined in one giant submission chain. It’s like lucha libre Human Centipede up in here…

Astrolux went for a big dive into about four people and Arez caught him out of the air, holding him in place until Aramis could kill him with a double stomp off the top rope to the floor, into the pile of humanity. It’s just total chaos from there. Two different people just did springboard shooting stars to the outside but I couldn’t catch who it was. Team Aramis all did stereo 450 splashes to their opponents, but each one kicked out. Astrolux caught somebody with a modified Stormbreaker into the GTS. Toxin went to the top rope but Devino did a springboard headscissors sending him flying.

Okay I officially give up… This is absolutely insane. Toxin with a Destroyer. The camera man nearly crashed and burned with Arez and Aramis doing dives into the other four guys on the outside. After about 100 more ridiculous dives and combos, Dragon Bane pulled Arez into the ring, crushed him with a 630 splash, and got the win. I am dead now.

Winners: Astrolux, Dragon Bane & Arkangel Divino


— We’re back to more pre-show talking and video packages, but of course there’s still no English commentary on the English channel so I can’t actually tell you with any accuracy what’s going on.

— Alright so there’s definitely a video package with some dudes who I guess are shirtless garbagemen doing some crazy lucha stuff while throwing bags into their trash compactor, interspersed with actual AAA footage. I got nothing… Somebody check in the compactor for Braun Strowman.

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AAA WORLD MIXED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
NINO HAMBURGUESA & BIG MAMI (c) vs. SAMMY GUEVARA & SCARLETT BORDEAUX vs. VILLANO III JR. & LADY MARAVILLA vs. AUSTRALIAN SUICIDE & VANILLA

Another match that started insane and just got more insane as it went on. The cameras were basically stalking Scarlett the entire time because she is showing the most amount of booty humanly possible whilst still wearing ring gear. She did some sexy dancing and Big Mami shoved her down, then did some dancing as well which the crowd thought was hilarious, before crushing her with a Gory Bomb. Villano caught his partner on his back and set up for some kind of double team move, but instead just kind of…dropped her on Hamburguesa in a way that looked like her spine broke in half.

Hamburguesa rallied back and squashed three different people in one corner, then flattened them with a running cannonball. Big Mami dropped a big leg on Villano III before snapping Lady Maravilla’s neck into the ropes. Australian Suicide did the most insane move of the show so far by walking the top rope, then leaping into what looked like a double shooting star to the floor. Good lord.

Sclarlett thought it would be a good idea to give Big Mami a Stinkface in the corner, but she got squashed instead and then Big Mami gave her the Stinkface. Guevara fought both the champs to the floor then took all their opponents down at once with a twisting tope con hilo, and Scarlett followed off the top with a splash for good measure. Since the rule is EVERYONE must dive, Hamburguesa somehow made it through the ropes with a suicide dive, and Big Mami did a corkscrew senton from the top to the floor, nearly killing everyone. The crowd LOVES them.

Guevara went for a moonsault but crashed and burned. Hamburguesa splashed the absolute hell out of him, but Australian Suicide did a shooting star to the back of his neck to break up the pin. Lady Maravilla went down clutching her knee, which got the referee’s attention. The champions worked over her partner Villano and Big Mami ht him with a big splash. Maravilla popped back up and revealed she was faking the injury, kicking Hamburguesa in the balls and rolling him up. The referee counted three, even though Mami was also covering Villano at the same time.

Winners & New Champions: Villano III & Lady Maravilla

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