May 12, 2020
Buckle in because we’ve got a super-stacked show with NINE matches confirmed for the biggest episode of AEW DARK ever.
1. Colt Cabana def. “The Captain” Shawn Dean. Lots and lots of grappling and pinning combinations. Cabana got the win with the Flying Apple in the corner and a Superman Pin.
2. Jurassic Express (Luchasaurus & Jungle Boy) def. Mike Reed & Ryan Rembrandt. Jurrassic Express did a lot of cool combos to get things started. Rembrant had some impressive suplexes and amateur-style mat game, and the two worked together to double-team Jungle Boy for a bit. Luchasaurus got the hot tag and cleaned house with kicking combinations nearly taking the face off his opponents. Reed punched the big man in the face and it barely registered, leading to a huge chokeslam. ‘Saurus tossed Reed into an assisted cutter, and that’s all she wrote.
3. Private Party def. Lee Johnson & MUSA. A lot of young talent in this one. Private Party controlled the early action with wild combos. Lots of dropkicks. Johnson surprised them with a tope con hilo to the floor, and MUSA took advantage dragging Quen back in and putting the boots to him. It didn’t last long as Kassidy came off the top rope with a big splash on MUSA, followed by a diving double foot stomp from Quen to Johnson on the outside. A springboard Flatliner and a beautiful Shooting Star Press put this one away. Not exactly competitive.
4. “10” def. Jon Cruz. Sorry Cruz, you’re job tonight is to get murdered. “10” of the Dark Order (the big muscular, Bane-looking one) nearly killed him with a lariat and a really cool STO in the ropes. Cruz got in a few hits and climbed to the top rope, but was caught out of the air and smashed with a Spinebuster. Goodnight.
5. Rey Fenix def. Alan Angels. Some excellent counter-wrestling and pinning combinations early on. Angels tried to kip up and got superkicked into next year. I wonder if 2021 is as terrible as 2020. Someone should ask Angels, because his jaw (and soul) travelled through time. Fenix hit a missile dropkick clear across the ring for two. Angels rallied back with enzuigiris and a rolling dropkick through the ropes. He even got a powerbomb for a nearfall. This was easily the best back-and-forth match of the first five. Maybe the night, we’ll see. Fenix eventually had enough and started flying off all the ropes, channeling his inner Mascara Dorada, refusing to touch the floor until Angels was fully confused. A springboard dropkick sends Angels into the corner, and Fenix hits a modified Muscle Buster to win.
6. Kris Statlander def. Dani Jordyn. Jordyn has a “Mean Girls” gimmick complete with her own burn book. Statlander countered what looked like the Tour of the Islands by “booping” her nose, then hit her with a lariat and the Big Bang Theory.
7. Orange Cassidy def. Jason Cade. Cade would not let Cassidy put his hands in his pockets. He took his glasses and threw them out of the ring, so Orange sent him flying with armdrags, and put his hands in his pocket out of defiance. He hit a series of no-hand armdrags and combos I honestly, previously thought to be impossible without hands. Cade caught him fooling around with a nasty knee strike, knocking him out cold. Cade checked on him, but Cassidy was playing possum and rolled him up for a quick three.
8. Dr. Britt Baker DMD def. Skyler Moore. Baker begged off immediately after the first lockup and claimed that she might have broken her nose AND broken her nail. She kept getting in the ropes, refusing to compete, until Moore let her guard down and got superkicked in the face. Good competitive match, but Baker was the better woman and eventually caught Moore in the Lockjaw for the submission.
9. Jimmy Havoc def. Luthor in a No Disqualification match. Havoc came out with Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford with him. He didn’t waste time going for the chair, punishing his opponent with body and back shots, one after another. He went up top, but Luther threw the chair in his face knocking him all the way to the floor, and followed with a diving crossbody. Back in the ring Havoc got hip tossed into the edge of a chair. It looked really nasty. Sabian saved his friend from getting splashed through two chairs, and Havoc hit an Avalanche Rana and a diving stomp through a chair for a nearfall. They started trading shots until Ford threw water into Luthor’s face. He went after her and ate a chair to the face from Sabian. Havoc hit the Fishhook DDT to win.