8/27 AEW Dynamite Results: Tag Team Gauntlet, ALL OUT Contract Signing, Tables Match & More

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Lance Archer (w/ Jake Roberts) vs. Sean Maluta

Maluta rushes the big man and gets completely destroyed. Archer pummels him with clubbing blows to the chest, takes him to the outside and throws him into the barricade a few times. Maluta throws ineffectual chops, and Archer crushes him with just a single chop. Archer goes to the corner and hits a trio of running splashes, then delivers one of the most monstrous chokeslams I’ve ever seen. 1… 2… Archer pulls him back up. He hits the Blackout, then just slams Maluta’s head into the mat repeatedly until he stops moving. It’s over.

Winner: Lance Archer

Jake “The Snake” grabs a microphone and says there will be 21 men in the Casino Battle Royale at ALL OUT. He says the winner better be Lance Archer, because they need to remove that blemish on their record. He says the big man is like a wood chipper feeding on talent.

Taz interrupts with brand new music, with Brian Cage and Ricky Starks behind him. He informs them the winner of the Casino Battle Royale will 100% not be Lance Archer, and goes back and forth on the mic with Jake. Darby Allin comes to the ring on a skateboard and starts brawling with Ricky Starks, and the two fight to the back.

Back in the ring, Archer and Cage come face to face and nearly come to blows, but their managers back them off. Cage raises up the FTW Championship and leaves the ring before the “Murderhawk Monster” completely loses his cool.

ALL OUT Contract Signing

MJF is out to the ring first using a walker, complete with tennis balls. He’s accompanied by Wardlow, his political campaign team, and his personal lawyer. AEW World Champion Jon Moxley is next, coming through the crowd. He’s all by himself.

MJF quickly signs the contract, and his lawyer reminds us that the Paradigm Shift is banned in the title match at ALL OUT. Every time Moxley goes to sign the contract, MJF interrupts him and continues to run his mouth. He makes a joke about Mox’s hairline receding, and the champ tells him he’ll get there one day if he ever goes through puberty.

MJF continues to ramble, telling Moxley that he might have the advantage in a dark alley, but at ALL OUT their match takes place in a professional wrestling ring, and claims to have the consistency and steady hands of a brain surgeon. MJF says Mox isn’t a wrestler, he’s an overhyped goon. He won’t fall into the trap of letting it turn into a brawl.

Still talking, MJF says Moxley isn’t a wrestler because he grew up idolizing people like Sandman, John Zandig and Atsushi Onita, who he calls “hot garbage”. He says he’ll prove pro wrestling is better than garbage every time when he takes the world title and puts it around his waist.

He finally goes too far and tells Moxley, “tell that hot little wife of yours that I’m single.” The champ gets out of his chair, but the lawyer tells him to sit down and sign the contract, or he’ll sue.

Moxley said he doesn’t need the Paradigm Shift at ALL OUT, although he’d love to give MJF permenant neck and spinal damage by dropping him on his head. But that’s okay, because all the stipulation does is force him to get creative, and come up with even more brutal ways of choking the life out of MJF. Mox says nothing they talk about here tonight matters – on September 5, MJF is a dead man. Period.

He finally signs the contract and MJF’s team freaks out and starts celebrating. Mox says this was a great contract signing. They didn’t even have to break the table. And by the way, thanks for signing that little addition he made on page 18… MJF says there was only 17 pages to the contract he signed, and realizes he’s made a huge mistake.

Moxley announces that next week he gets a singles match against MJF’s lawyer, and if the worm doesn’t show up, MJF doesn’t get his title match at ALL OUT. “You’re going for a ride buddy, I suggest you wear a helmet.”

CONTINUED ON THE NEXT PAGE >>>

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