AEW Dynamite Results
April 29, 2020
— Chris Jericho & Tony Schiavone are on commentary this evening. We’ve got both semifinal TNT Championship tournament matches, Brodie Lee in action, we’ll hear from AEW World Champion Jon Moxley, and more!
TNT Championship Tournament Semifinal Match
Cody Rhodes vs. Darby Allin
Cody throws Allin into the ropes and hits a shoulder tackle, going for an early pin just to send a message. The two trade pinning combinations
to Cody going for a bridge pin, but Darby escapes and viciously stomps on his knee! They brawl to the outside, sending each other hard into the ring post. Cody tries to throw him up the entrance ramp, but accidentally clobbers Brandi in the process, prompting Billy Gunn to run out and help her to the back. Cody goes berserk on his opponent, stomping a mudhole on the concrete as we go to commercial.
Cody is still in control back from break, literally stretching out Darby with various holds as the kid screams in pain. He applies a surfboard stretch and nearly breaks him in half, but Darby flips out of it and almost steals the pin out of sheer surprise. Cody freaks out again and just beats the hell out of him with boots, knees and straight right hooks to the side of the head. He is MAD.
Rhodes channels his mentor Randy Orton a bit, slowly following his prey around the ring and picking his spots. Darby surprises him with a dropkick to the bad knee, and goes on the attack immediately, applying a Figure Four and wrenching back on it. Cody eventually drags himself to the ropes and gets free, but Darby stays on him with kicks to the head and a huge cannonball in the corner. They’re really laying in their offense and beating the hell out of each other.
After another commercial, Cody comes off the ropes with the Disaster Kick. Darby gets back up, so he follows with a Disaster Knee, nearly knocking the kid out. Cody went for the pin but Darby rolled him up, got to his feet and delivered the Cross Rhodes! 1… 2… Rhodes kicks out! Allin immediately puts the Figure Four back on and for a second it looks like it might be over, but Brandi is shown limping down to the ring. She gives Cody a bottle of water, for some reason, and they collide in the middle of the ring with stereo clotheslines. Both men down.
Darby is the first up, and hits his backpack driver. He tries for the springboard, but Cody catches him and hits the Cross Rhodes. He slowly climbs to the second rope, then to the top rope, and tries for the Coffin Drop! Darby got his knees up and went to the top, and actually hit the Coffin Drop. Before he can go for the pin, Cody hooks his arms and steals a pin out of absolutely nowhere.
Winner, Advancing to the Finals: Cody Rhodes
— A video package on Scorpio Sky airs, going back to when he challenged Chris Jericho for the AEW World Championship. He said he doesn’t want to be great, he wants to be a legend.
— MJF sends in a video from his home, apologizing for missing tonight’s show because of his horrific injury. He said he went to the best nail doctor in the world, had an incredible procedure, and somehow came back from the brink of retirement to be cleared to compete! But then the unthinkable happened… He was in the shower, shaving, and nicked his neck. He puts on a neck brace and rambles about how he won’t get on a germ-infested plane to entertain 7 of his peers at ringside, and definitely doesn’t give a s**t about the fans watching at home.
MUSA vs. Wardlow
The other DARK guys at ringside chant “let’s go MUSA”, but the poor guy runs right into a brick wall. Wardlow gives him a few gigantic uppercuts, and chucks him clear across the ring. MUSA actually stands up to him and… OMG he smacked Wardlow in the face. It was nice knowing you. The big man thrashes MUSA and hoists him up to the top rope, then slams him down on his knee – like an assisted GTS from the ropes. Wardlow takes down the straps and hits the F10. Count to 20.
— It’s time for another episode of The Bubbly Bunch! Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara argue over who won in whatever the hell a FlimFlam challenge is. The entire Inner Circle starts fighting about it and it ends up turning into the longest, most amazing “Dont Rush” challenge of all time. There was like 30 people involved including Vickie Guerrero, Ted Irvine, numerous wrestlers, Lou Ferrigno with a taser, Fluffy, and more.
No DQ, No Count-Outs Match
Best Friends vs. Jimmy Havoc & Kip Sabian
The action spills to the floor almost immediately, with Trent doing an early dive over the ropes to take everybody down. The chairs come out and every takes a beating, Trent lined up for a big spear on the floor, but Havoc tackled him out of nowhere to save his partner. Sabian takes Trent back to the ring and works him over, using the ropes to go after his knee. Havoc has a ladder, which he just hurls into Trent’s knee. I guess it’s effective! What’s more effective was the catapult face-first into the ladder that followed.
They put Chuck in a chair seated in the corner. Havoc tries to whip his opponent around for a running dropkick, but Trent returns and bashes him with a chair instead. Best Friends rally and hit a series of German suplexes. Chuck wedges a chair in the corner and goes back and forth with Sabian; who would have guessed it, Chuck was the one to go head-first through the chair. Sabian tries to cover him but Trent makes the save throwing a chair at his face.
Havoc is back and hurls Trent into the ladder set up in the corner. He sets up a pyramid of chairs in the middle of the ring and lays Trent on top of them, paving the way for Sabian to hit a diving double foot stomp. Good lord! Chuck made the save and delivered a piledriver to Sabian on the steel chair. 1… 2… Penelope Ford pulled her man out of the ring to save the match!
Chuck freaks out, but gets sent flying over by Jimmy into the ladder again. Orange Cassidy runs out and throws a chair in his face. Ford runs the apron but accidentally kicks Sabian in the face. Cassidy dodges out of the way… and she spears him too! Rough night for the happy couple! Cassidy and Havoc end up fighting to the top rope. Orange threw himself all the way to the floor to take out everyone. Back in the ring, Chuck hits the Awful Waffle into a pile of chairs! 1… 2… 3.
Winners: Best Friends
— We hear from our new role model, Britt Baker, from her dental practice in Florida. She basically trashes everyone, even telling fatties to “suck it in” for photo ops with her. She actually photoshops a photo of Tony Schaivone to make him look thinner.
Shawn Spears vs. Baron Black
My cable went out as it’s currently storming here, but I don’t think this match lasted very long. Spears got the win. Sorry, I’ll try to go back and update this more thoroughly after the show.
Winner: Shawn Spears
— Footage is shown of the “Murderhawk Moster” Lance Archer going through opponents left and right in recent weeks, including Marko Stunt getting hurled over the ringside area into a crowd of wrestlers. Tonight Marko has to face Brodie Lee, and says he’s going to give it his all in honor of his teammates, who couldn’t be here tonight.
Brodie Lee vs. Marko Stunt
Marko runs the ropes and uses his speed to easily duck under his opponent’s office, but Lee quickly punted him with a big boot. He effortlessly tossed Marko into the corner and brutalized him with a series of loud chops, then tossed him to the other side of the ring for good measure. Stunt tries to rally and flies through the ropes, but Brodie superkicks his head clean off. I’m pretty sure Brodie’s boot is actually bigger than Marko’s face. He gets back in the ring and the ref begins to count, but Stunt barely crawls back in before 10. He climbed to the top rope and dove off, but Brodie swung him around into the most devastating Black Hole Slam that I have ever seen. Good lord. It’s over. It’s beyond over.
Winner: Mr. Brodie Lee
— Jon Moxley sends in a video from somewhere in the desert, probably. He reminds us of what he is capable, talking about his victims one by one while footage is shown of each one getting taken out since his arrival one year ago.
TNT Championship Tournament Semifinal Match
Dustin Rhodes vs. Lance Archer
Archer kicks Dustin’s head off immediately and takes him to the floor, whipping him hard into the ring post. A chair came into play and Dustin went head-first into it, drawing blood. We’re about 3 minutes in and he’s already near dead, covered in blood pouring down his face. Sounds about right.
After a commercial break, Archer delivers a big powerslam to Dustin and sends him rolling out of the ring looking for safety. He ends up hanging him in the ropes and clubbing at his chest over and over again, and allows the veteran to lay outside and collect himself, with a sick grin on his face.
At a count of 7, Archer goes outside and rolls Dustin back in, wiping his blood all over his own hands and chest. Dustin attacks him from behind, but gets kicked in the kidney and tossed with an overhead suplex. The blood is starting to dye the mat now. We’re only at about a 2/5 on the Rhodes bleeding scale, but it’s getting there.
The blood actually starts to fire up Dustin, who rallies with shoulder tackles and throws the big man into the corner. He hangs up Archer’s legs in the ropes and tries for the Shattered Dreams, but Archer blasts him in the face. A huge lariat takes Rhodes down, as the Murderhawk Monster just stands there, grinning, while his opponent is barely conscious.
We’ve taken our final commercial, and come back to Dustin somehow exploding out of the corner with a sunset flip powerbomb. He slowly gets to his feet and throws a big right hook. Archer smiles and gives one back, and they start to trade back and forth. Dustin ducks a right and left, then connects with an enzuigiri! Snap powerslam! Rhodes is all kinds of fired up! He mounts the turnbuckles and starts to rain down punches! He backs off and delivers the Cross Rhodes, but Archer kicks out at ONE. Like nothing.
Archer is winded, but still smiling. He’s like a DBZ villain who just hit his final form and knows he hasn’t even scratched the surface of what’s in his tank. He applies a wristlock and climbs the ropes, going Old School – until Archer does a springboard moonsault! The big man delivers one chokeslam, goes for a second, but Dustin rolls him up and hooks the shoulders, shades of his brother earlier in the night. Archer barely kicks out, and at this point is furious.
Archer removes the turnbuckle and bashes his opponent’s head into the exposed metal over and over again, until the blood was pouring down his face. Cody, Brandi and Arn Anderson all ran out and wanted to throw in the towel, but Dustin screamed at them not to. Archer hit him with the chokeslam, slammed his head into the mat with the claw, and got the win.
Winner: Lance Archer
The show goes off the air with Lance Archer looking on from the ramp as Cody Rhodes stares him down in the ring, standing over his bloody and unconscious brother.