EFFY & ALLIE KAT vs. 44OH! (ATTICUS COGAR & RICKEY SHANE PAGE)
The rest of 44OH! (Eddy Only and Gregory Iron) is at ringside for this one. Effy shoots Cogar into the ropes and headbutts him in the balls. Solid maneuver. He fires off with rights and lefts in the corner, doing a bit of grinding for fun, before Allie Kat makes the tag and sends the Ohio bastard overhead with a big back body drop. Cogar misses wildly with punches and Allie takes him to the mat groin-first.
RSP has had enough, attacking from behind and dragging Kat to his corner. The big man rains down with elbows and sends her FLYING across the ring. She’s trying desperately to tag out, but Cogar runs in and we get another doubleteam. The fans start meowing to bring her back to life, but RSP runs around the ring and sweeps Effy off the apron, leaving Kat stranded.
Page tags in and yeets her across the ring for a second time, then simply stands on her hair. Heat. Big back suplex connects, as Cogar follows with a slingshot elbow drop off the blind tag. He slaps on a side headlock and snaps her down to the mat, as the fans once again begin to meow her back into the match.
Finally Effy gets the hot tag and lights up RSP with a flurry of forearm strikes. A big boot nearly takes the big man’s face off in the corner. Cogar hits the ring to make the save, but is caught with a dropkick and hurled out of the ring for his trouble. The distraction was enough for RSP to hit a lariat, placing Effy on the top rope, but he’s sent crashing down and takes a Blockbuster for a nearfall.
Cogar runs back in, but gets suplexed on top of his partner. Here comes Allie Kat, as they begin to run a train on Cogar in the corner with running boots and elbow strikes. “GET THE F**KING DOOR!” she screams! Effy obliges, retrieving one from under the ring. We’ve got a few steel chairs as well, because why not.
They set up Cogar on a makeshift table made from the door and chairs, but RSP makes the save. He simply throws the door from the ring and refuses to use it, just to get more heat. Effy and RSP begin to brawl back and forth, as Allie Kat and Cogar do the same. Page clears the ring with big boots for both opponents. Effy runs at him but is caught with some nasty forearms and a urinage backbreaker. Surprisingly, that does it.
NATE WEBB vs. MANCE WARNER
Hold on I’ll be back in 10 minutes when this Mance entrance is over. After what felt like the entire monthy of July, the bell rings and Webb rushes his opponent in the corner with wild rights and lefts. He rolls outside to retrive a chair, and chucks it into Mancer’s face, then blasts him with another chair and throws him into the ring post. 30 seconds in, and the dude is already covered in blood…
Brawling. Brawling. Oh baby, we’re brawling! Webb sets up a makeshift table and returns to the ring. He tries for a low kick, but Warner grabs his foot and THROWS HIM BACKWARDS OVER THE ROPES THROUGH THE TABLE OH MY GOD! Mance has tasted his own blood and is fired up!
Doors, doors and more doors. Warner grabs a chair and starts swinging for the fences, pelting Webb’s back over and over. More chairs are thrown in the ring, in case the one literally in his hand right now isn’t good enough. A second makeshift table gets set up as Webb rallies with a spin kick and an enzuigiri. Mancer ends up laid out on the table as Webb climbs to the top rope… CHAIRSAULT THROUGH THE DOOR! TWO DOORS DOWN! IF I GO CRAZY WILL YOU STILL CALL ME SUPERMAN!
Both men very slowly pull themselves to their feet, and start throwing hands again. A door gets set up on two chairs, and then two more chairs are stacked on top of that, with another door completely the stack. If that’s confusing, it’s a double table spot made out of doors and chairs. They trade punches on the top rope, Mance grabs him by the throat, and chokeslams the man through aisle 7 at Home Depot. Good lord.
Somehow he still couldn’t get the win there, so Warner delivers about a dozen openhand slaps. Webb is barely alive at this point, but throws a few slaps and chops of his own with everything he has left. Mance drops him with a DDT into the carnage of broken chairs and doors in the ring, and is finally able to get the 3-count.
Winner: Mance Warner
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