IMPACT Wrestling Results (3/1): Sami Callihan vs Eddie Edwards, Laurel Van Ness Marries the Knockouts Title & More

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Impact Wrestling Results
March 1, 2018

(1) Tyrus def. Ethan Carter III. EC3 did his best to avoid his former bodyguard as much as humanly possible and really only got any offense in when he cheated. He even used the referee as a human shield at one point but nothing he did could save him from the avalanche of humanity that is Fox News’ Superstar Brodus Clay. The Tongan death grip into an STO put EC3 away for good.

– We get a promo with Joseph Park calling his grandmother (seriously, right after the Tyrus match, you can’t make this stuff up). Not even Nana Park believes he can beat Kongo Kong on his own.

(2) El Hijo Del Fantasma def. Braxton Sutter. Pretty much what you’d expect with Sutter trying to slow it down and work the rest holds, cheating when he could, trying to steal the pin with his feet on the ropes, etc. Fantasma wowed with hurricanranas and a nice tope con hilo, eventually getting the win with Thrill of the Hunt. Thrill of the Kill? I’m not sure.

– Sutter gets on the mic afterwards and angrily calls out Allie for ruining everyone’s lives and claims he is the biggest star in all of IMPACT Wrestling. Enter Brian Cage who came out and murdered Sutter with lariats and his ridiculous Drill Claw finisher.

– Another weekly backstage promo with Matt Sydal talking about his “third eye” and how “zen” he is because of his new spiritual mentor that’s been touching his “chi” on all the right places. Taiji Ishimori comes in and has McKenzie (the interviewer) read it. Basically Ishimori challenges Sydal for them both to put their titles on the line, saying he wants to take them both home to NOAH, and calls him a douchebag.

(3) Kongo Kong def. Joseph Park. This didn’t last long. Park sort of Hulk’d up at the end but it lasted about 10 seconds and he got squashed by Kong (literally) with a splash off the top rope.

– Jimmy Jacobs gets on the mic and asks “nicely” one more time for Abyss to come out and play. Park is half dead but still refuses to let the Monster out of its cage. They choked Park with a scarf until he passed out and Jimmy claimed they were just getting started.

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