We’re backstage with Johnny Swinger again. He’s bragging to Jimmy Jacobs and a bunch of jabronis about how he took a huge dump in Ken Shamrock’s bag. Everyone is disgusted and walks off, and he calls them all marks.
Jordynne Grace approaches Taya Valkyrie backstage and wants a match for the Knockouts Championship. Taya mocks her with her stupid stuffed dog and says Jordynne doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a real champion. She hasn’t earned a title shot yet. John E. Bravo says he wants to fight Jordynne, but she says that’s not much of a challenge and says she’ll take them BOTH on next week in a handicap match.
HAVOK vs. KRYSTAL MOON
Havok tossed her around the ring for a bit and went on the hunt, stalking Moon around the ring, sort of casually beating the hell out of her as she saw fit. After a few minutes Havok decided to put things away, but ate the turnbuckle as Moon barely avoided a splash. She delivered a few kicks before heading to the top rope, but Havok caught her for an easy chokeslam. 1…2… Havok pulls her off the mat before the final count, just to deliver a Tombstone Piledriver. Good lord.
Winner: Krystal Moon
Brian Cage storms backstage and basically forces himself into the elimination match next week for the #1 contender’s shot at the world title. It’s official!
IMPACT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
THE NORTH (c) vs. MARUFUJI & EDDIE EDWARDS
Alexander starts out and runs right into a series of arm drags from Edwards. He tags out to Ethan Page, who runs into the exact same thing. Marufuji tags in and they take turns trying to see who can chop Page the hardest. Alexander eventually takes a cheap shot from the outside and The North immediately gang up on Marufuji, but Eddie makes the save a wild brawl breaks out as we go to commercial.
We come back to Edwards hammering Page with what Callis describes as “leave the business” chops. Alexander tags in and they go shot for shot. The North again the better of things – their tag team chemistry is clearly better, as the challengers have really yet to get any sort of consistent momentum going together. Eddie tags a brutal backbreaker from Alexander, immediately followed by a backbreaker from Page.
Marufuji finally gets the hot tag and starts delivering kicks to everyone. Alexander rushes him but gets tossed with a snap suplex. Page charges and gets caught with a suplex. Eddie hits the ring and delivers a Blue Thunder Bomb, then rocks Alexander with a big boot. All four start swinging with wild rights and lefts. The North deliver stereo superkicks. Eddie and Maru give ’em back. All four guys are down.
Eddie holds Alexander while Marufuji connects with a hook kick. Page makes the save but gets turned inside out with a lariat. Edwards hit a huge sit-down powerbomb, followed by a superkick from Marufuji, but Alexander somehow gets his shoulder up and 2.99. The North fire back with elbow strikes out of desperation. Eddie is singled out and takes about a dozen elbow strikes from both guys, one after another. The finally hit him with their Burning Hammer/Alabama Slam combo to win.
Winner & Still Champions: The North