Ziggler & McIntyre Bury Breezango
Another week, another short-lived attempt at a wrestling match from my favorite comedy team, Tyler Breeze and Fandango. It’s a rough time to be a fan of the Fashion Police, folks.
Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre continued their reign of domination with a very brief squash victory, picking their opponents apart individually before dropping Officer Breeze with that sick Grenade/Zig-Zag combo finisher. Ziggler got on the mic afterwards and put the whole Raw tag team division on notice, and McIntyre claimed that they were there to save tag team wrestling. Good luck!
This was fine for what it was. “Effective” is a better word. If I’m being honest I would rather see Breezango in the spot The B Team has right now, and let another team get squashed by D&D this week. Oh, by the way, we’re calling them “D&D” now apparently. It’s pretty gross. The promos were good, as usual, but Dolph’s was a bit long-winded so that by the time Drew got on the mic, anything he had to say was sort of a… a hat on a hat.
Yo, We Heard You Guys Like Roman Reigns…
So they’ve been teasing this match between Roman and Jinder Mahal for the past week, with them going back and forth on social media trying their damndest to built up their Money in the Bank match. Roman cut a promo backstage saying that Jinder’s ass wrote a bunch of checks it can’t cash, and now he’s coming to collect. Or something like that.
When they finally got to the ring Mahal revealed that he wouldn’t be competing at all. In fact, he had a special surprise for us in the form of another Indian wrestling legend. They teased the hell out of Great Khali, only for Jinder to name Singh Brother #2 as his opponent. Roman speared him out of this hemisphere in a short match, but the Modern Day Maharaja left the Big Dog lying with a Khallas afterwards.
Honestly… I liked all of this. Jinder has been the perfect opponent for Reigns right now, as he really needed to get away from the title and focus on a straight-up, no-nonsense heel that he can beat the hell out of, week after week, looking like a total badass. If they’re not going to turn him heel, this is the best possible version of Roman Reigns. I don’t even think he should talk at all. Build him up like Sting where he stays silent for a year, refuses to speak, but still shows up occasionally to brutalize someone.
The B-Team vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno
Heath Slater came out in a black t-shirt with little pieces of tape ripped up, organized to say “Rhyno Made This”. I’ll give WWE credit for this: they may not give a damn about tag team wrestling, and these comedy acts are obviously never going to succeed being the undercard, but it’s acts like Slater, Curtis Axel, Breeze and Fandango, and those kinds of characters that put on some of the most entertaining segments on WWE television these days.
The B-Team got another “shocking” win in short order, then celebrated like they’d just won the lottery after the match. Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt were shown on the tron clapping for an unsettling amount of time. They rambled on about this or that, as crazy folk tend to do, and eventually appeared on the stage to…. continue cutting the same promo? Bray mumbled something about the River Styx and they left. Alright then.
I’m gonna be honest, I just don’t care about the Deleters of Worlds. They have two of the most interesting, unique characters in wrestling and what they came up with is so boring and bland, it’s impossible for me to feign interesting when I’ve seen exactly how good the Broken Matt character can be. When they did it on Impact you could tell they were PROUD of their efforts and seeing how into it the company was made the fans getting behind it even more. WWE just doesn’t care, and I can feel it in their product.
Here, have some awkward clapping.