Mensa Match Reviews #5

Got some ECW, CZW & TNA for ya this time around!

Ruckus Vs Z-Barr Vs Trent Acid (CZW: A New Beginning 2001)- Ruckus is a short fat guy who does junior spots, Acid is the better half of the Backseat Boyz, although I was never really too high on him, and Z-Barr is basically a wanna be 1999 Steve Corino who was absolutely god awful. He was in fact so awful, his character was basically that he was god awful, think about that. Barr & Acid were allies so this was basically a handicap match. This match really shows how bad CZW’s booking was around this time as Ruckus pins Barr & then Acid runs in and pins Ruckus, but then the ring announcer just randomly announces it was a first pinfall to finish match so Ruckus wins. I wish I could tell you the action made up for the bad booking but it didn’t. *1/2

Sandman Vs Tracy Smothers (ECW: Hardcore TV 279)- Smothers was part of the FBI at the time so all three FBI members attack Sandman throughout the course of the match. Since the FBI was just an undercard comedy act though, Sandman is able to fight off three guys to get the duke. This was like most Sandman matches were it wasn’t any good, but the crowd was really into it. The overbooking actually helped here since the more stuff you can pack into a Sandman match to distract from his lack of ability usually makes it more watchable. *1/2

Sabu & RVD Vs Chris Candido & Bam Bam Bigelow Vs The Dudleys (ECW: Hardcore TV 279)- This was for the ECW tag titles and as you can imagine with 6 guys in there it was pretty chaotic. Really hard to follow everything in the beginning and then they threw in some ref bumps and run-ins for good measure. I didn’t really see the point of including the Dudleys in this one and wish they would’ve left it as just RVD/Sabu Vs Candido/Bigelow as that portion of the match towards the end was the best thing here. I did find this to be a fun TV main event and would go *** on it.

KO or Tapout: Bobby Lashley Vs Drew Galloway (TNA: Slammiversary 2016)- Both guys got A LOT better after their initial WWE foray, especially Galloway. I think MMA has helped Lashley be a better pro-wrestler because it’s expanded his move set & improved his psychology a ton. These guys work a really smart big man match here. Nothing too flashy but they keep a good pace and are intense enough to hold your interest. I think this would’ve been even better in another setting; it’s just hard to get into matches put on by a dying promotion no matter how good they are. Other than a super abrupt finish, I had no issue with any of this. ***1/2

Final Deletion: Matt Hardy Vs Jeff Hardy (TNA: Impact 7/5/16)- I heard about how horrible this was and just had to check it out. This was basically some sort of weird combination of low grade Z-level movie & a backyard wrestling match. There is no commentary but there is dramatic music score, a flash back sequence, a run-in from Matt Hardy’s gardener (with a taser no less), and fireworks, which I mean literally. As the match went on, I went from thinking “this is a contender for worst match of all time” to “this is the worst match of all time and I’m ashamed to be a wrestling fan.” There aren’t enough negative stars in the universe for this so I’m forced to only go -***** and label it The Worst Match of All Time. Anyone who tells you this was good should be immediately removed from your circle of acquaintances, preferably by force.