TNA iMPACT! Results – April 18, 2013


Report by Stuart Carapola @

The show opens with a very classy message sending their thoughts to the people of Boston in the wake of this week’s bombing, and then we go to a video package looking at last week’s segment with AJ Styles and Hulk Hogan’s decision that AJ will face James Storm this week. We also see Chavo Guerrero, Jr and Hernandez regaining the TNA World Tag Team Title and the incident with Devon warning Joseph Park to stay out of family business and the Brooke-Bubba marriage. We then see clips of last week’s Full Metal Mayhem and then we see a scene from after the show went off the air last week as Hulk Hogan tells Jeff Hardy he’s sorry as he’s being carried out to the ambulance.

Devon is backstage giving Garett Bischoff and Wes Brisco a pep talk as they go into their match with Kurt Angle. Garett and Wes are confident, but Devon says not to take Kurt lightly because he’s been in the ring with him and knows how tough he is. Garett says the only tough part will be deciding who gets the pin, and Devon says he doesn’t care which of them does it as long as it gets done.

We see a video package looking at the history of Kurt Angle, Garett Bischoff, and Wes Brisco during entrances, and then we kick tonight’s show off with…

Kurt Angle vs Garett Bischoff & Wes Brisco

Angle and Wes start us off, and Angle casually destroys Wes by pummeling him in the corner before taking a shot at Garett and then going back to stomping Wes. Angle hits a snap suplex on Wes and stares Garett down as he tosses Wes to the corner and allowing him to tag Garett in. Garett doesn’t have any better luck, taking the same beating Wes did until Wes tries to run in and gets laid out by Angle as well as we go to commercial.

We’re back and Angle is still unloading on Garett, but Wes sneaks in behind the referee’s back and low blows Angle. Garett finally has an opening and unloads with some heavy right hands as the crowd tells him that he can’t wrestle. Garett hits a snap suplex for 2 and then tags Wes back in to lay Angle out with a clothesline for 1. Wes gets a rear chinlock, but Angle escapes and takes both Wes and Garett out with repeated clotheslines, then it’s suplexes for everyone, including the rare double German suplex. Angle Slam on Garett but Wes breaks the count at 2. Angle rams Wes into the ringpost as the rest of the gang makes their way to ringside. Angle gets the anklelock on Wes, but Garett grabs a chain from D-Lo and knocks Angle out with it to pick up the win.

Winners: Wes Brisco & Garett Bischoff

Garett and Wes attack Angle again after the match and flatten him with a double powerbomb, then Ken Anderson says that this is the way things are going to go down from now on. Sting’s been gone for weeks, Jeff Hardy was decimated, and now Angle is laying in shambles. If you’re not wearing Aces & Eights gear tonight, you’re in a bad way. Anderson closes by saying that they’re rooting for AJ Styles tonight.

Petey Williams is backstage discussing his strategy for tonight’s three way X Division match and says he’s going to try and hit the Canadian Destroyer. Zema Ion says he likes that he can pin either man to regain his title, but doesn’t like that he can lose it without getting pinned. He can promise that he’s going to get it back, he can say that for a fact.

X Division Title Match: Kenny King vs Zema Ion vs Petey Williams

King immediately clotheslines Ion to the outside and then we go to the X-Cam, a camera mounted on the referee’s head so we can see things from his perspective as King takes Ion’s head off with a leg lariat. King with a cartwheel kick to Ion and goes for the Royal Flush, but Williams reverses and hits the Canadian Destroyer. Ion breaks up the pinfall and then tries to steal the pin for himself, and this leads to Williams going after Ion and hitting a flying headscissors. Williams with another headscissors and covers for 2, Ion hits a neckbreaker for 2 and then rolls Wililams into a modified half crab. Williams makes it to the ropes and they trade blows until Williams gets a Canadian legsweep and a crucifix for 2. King is finally making it to his feet on the outside as he recovers for the Canadian Destroyer, but Williams takes him out with a dive and hits a release suplex on Ion before taking King out again with a slingshot headscissors to the floor. Ion catches Williams with a tornado DDT through the ropes for 2, Williams gets the knees up on a moonsault attempt and gets Ion in the Sharpshooter. King comes in and nails Wililams with shotgun knees and then steals a pin on Ion for 3.

Winner: Kenny King

Good showcase for Williams to reestablish himself, and a smart finish.

Brutus Magnus is backstage and says he has a lot of history with Devon and Aces & Eights, but he’s confused that Aces & Eights say they’re going to take people out and cause chaos because the only person doing any taking is going to be him when he takes the TV Title he’s been waiting five months to take from him.

Brooke Hogan and Christy Hemme are…uh, backstage checking out the Knockouts on their new website. Christy takes off so Brooke can bring Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher in and say they’re getting a shot because of how much heart they’ve been showing lately. Mickie leaves after Brooke tells her how cute her hair looks, then Tessmacher tells Brooke that they all see what she’s going through with Bully Ray and they’re there for her if she needs them. Tessmacher gives her a hug as I dread the idea that Tessmacher just telegraphed that she’s joining Aces & Eights.

Knox and Doc attack Magnus on his way to the ring to challenge Devon for the TV Title, but he fights them both off until Devon comes up the ramp and nails Magnus with a chain. Doc and Knox hold Magnus, who kicks at Devon as he comes in and punches Magnus in the gut with the chain. Magnus is still fighting his way to his feet and takes a double chokeslam from Doc and Knox. Samoa Joe comes out to make the save for his tag team partner, and I guess the TV Title match is off.

Samoa Joe is backstage telling Aces & Eights that they’re cowards, but he talked to the Powers That Be (uh oh…is Russo back?) and he’s coming to collect when he sees Devon in the ring tonight.

We see a video package looking back at the recent weirdness from AJ Styles, then we look at a couple of weeks ago when Velvet Sky blew out her knee. Speaking of the Knockouts…

#1 Contender Match: Miss Tessmacher vs Mickie James

ODB is the referee, so I guess she’s the new official referee for the Knockouts division. Mickie and Tessmacher tie up and neither is able to get an advantage. They go to the mat and Tessmacher gets the advantage, but Mickie makes it to the ropes. They both start bitching to the referee about the rope call and Brooke uses the distraction to get a quick rollup on Mickie for 2. Mickietakes Brooke down with a cross armbreaker but is too close to the ropes and Brooke gets the break. Brooke takes a breather on the floor to break Mickie’s momentum, then drags Mickie out to the floor and they trde forearms on the outside. This turns into a straight up fight as they yank on each other’s hair as ODB yells at them to get back in the ring NOW. They go back inside and Brooke opens up with right hands and hits a facebuster for 2. Brooke hits the stunkface and keeps grinding it for a good long time before yanking Mickie out of the corner and covering for 2. Mickie catches Tessmacher with a flapjack and goes up to for the Pappy Dive, but only gets 2 so she goes back to arguing with ODB. She takes too long and Tessmacher nails Mickie with a clothesline, Mickie blocks a mpove and rams Brooke face first into the middle turnbuckle, she goes for the leaping DDT, Tessmacher tries reversing to a rollup, but Mickie counters to a jackknife cradle for 3.

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Winner: Mickie James

Mickie is now the #1 contender to Velvet Sky and will get a title shot whenever Velvet is healthy, I guess.

We see AJ Styles backstage walking off as Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian say the band is back together because they’re the three best friends that anyone could have.

Joseph Park is in the men’s room trying to do business when Devon takes his phone and reminds Park that he has to stay out of family business. Park tries to protest, so Bubba suckerpunches Park from behind, then has Devon choke him out with a chain as he tells Park to consider this a threat and not a promise: STAY OUT OF FAMILY BUSINESS. Devon throws Park into the shower and turns it on, and they mock him for crying and stroll off laughing as Park looks pathetic.

Mickie James is backstage saying it’s good to be the #1 contender again, it’s been far too long since she’s held that title and everyone has forgotten how good she is. She feels bad for Velvet because she knows what it’s like to be injured and not have an off season. She hates to sound disgruntled, but it’s been too long that she’s been pushed aside and now is her time to shine.

James Storm says this has been going on too long and it’s time to solve things the Cowboy way: by knocking some sense into AJ Styles.

Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian come out to the ring to say that the Year of Bad Influence continues. Daniels says it’s good to be them, the fans love them, and they have new t-shirts at They’re working on the movie and are in talks to get Morgan Freeman to play Dixie Carter, and they are really close to convincing AJ Styles to join the band one more time. They even got AJ his own Bad Influence shirt, and Kazarian says that the OGs of Impact are ready to ride again and the first order of business is Chavo Guerrero and Juan Hernandez. As soon as they have the juevos to give them their title shots, they will become the World Tag Team Champions of the World Part Tres, and on that note, the chodes in the crowd all have permission to worship them. Bobby Roode and Austin Aries say that before they decide who is fighting who, he’s sorry to tell them that they’re not the #1 contenders to the title because Chavo and Hernandez fluked their way to a win over them, so they get their rematch before anyone else. Daniels says his opinion would be worth a lot more if he wasn’t Canadian because a Canadian opinion is only worth three quarters of an American opinion. Aries says Daniels and Kazarian may be a better team, but if they spent as much time together as Francois and Kristoff do, they’d be the same well oiled, well lubed machine they are. Kazarian says Roode only cut his hair because Kazarian did it first and it looks awesome. They continue trading insults back and forth and this is getting seriously hilarious until Chavo and Hernandez come into the ring behind Roode and Aries. Daniels and Kazarian leave and Roode and Aries think they made them back down, but they turn around and get flattened by the champions. Chavo holds up the title and says it’s why they’re better than both of them.

We look at a video package of Jeff Hardy getting carried out last week as Kenny King, Gail Kim, and Bobby Roode talk about how difficult and dangerous things are right now with the way Aces & Eights are running roughshod over them. We then look at earlier tonight when Wes Brisco and Garett Bischoff took out Kurt Angle and then the entire gang took care of Brutus Magnus. We then go to Matt Morgan, who says it’s no shock that Hogan isn’t here, then runs down his list of mistakes: not naming him the #1 contender at Lockdown, getting suckered in by Bully Ray, letting Sting, the guy who stuck by him all this time, walk out on him, and letting Jeff Hardy get carried out last week. He says that all this could have been avoided if he just did the right thing. This leads us to…

TV Title Match: Devon vs Samoa Joe

Devon jumps Joe on his way into the ring and tries to chew his face off in the corner. Joe fires back and beats Devon down in the corner, then lays him out with a leaping kneestrike. Joe with the snapmare/chop/kick/kneedrop combo for 2, then he goes for the Kokina Clutch. Devon escapes and hits a spear, then goes to the eyes. Joe escapes a chinlock and hits a leaping enziguiri, he sets Devon up for the Muscle Buster, but Ken Anderson slips in as the referee is distracted by Garett Bischoff and knocks Joe out with something. Devon crawls over and makes a cover to retain.

Winner: Devon

The gang holds Joe so Anderson can get right up in his face and knock him out with the knucks he used to hand Devon the win. Joe is rolling around the mat and is clearly in a lot of pain as Anderson gloats.

AJ Styles is backstage, and he’s…WALKING! The main event is up next!

Next week: Two titles are on the line as Mickie James challenges Velvet Sky for the Knockouts Title, and Bobby Roode & Austin Aries get their rematch with Chavo & Hernandez for the TNA World Tag Team Title!

It’s main event time!

AJ Styles vs James Storm

AJ comes out to the ring, then turns and walks back up the aisle. Storm goes after him and goes for the Eye of the Storm on the ramp, but AJ fights his way out and drills Storm with a big right hand. Storm responds with a haymaker of his own and they head back inside where the bell rings to officially start the match. AJ nails Storm coming in and unloads with some hard shots, Storm responds with a high knee and nails some punches of his own. AJ is in control as we go to commercial.

We’re back as AJ Styles muscles Storm into a vertical suplex and then locks him in a chinlock. Storm escapes and hits a series of clotheslines and a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODYDROP. Storm hits a spinning version of the Air Raid Crash for 2 then goes for a superplex, AJ blocks and escapes, hanging Storm in the Tree of Woe. AJ with a delayed hanging dropkick to Storm and covers for 2 as Daniels and Kazarian come out to allegedly cheer AJ on. AJ is distracted by them and Storm hits a lungblower, then a Cactus clothesline sends both men to the floor. They go back in and AJ misses a big boot and Storm hits Closing Time. AJ catches the boot as Storm goes for the Last Call and rolls through into some bizarro leglock and forces Storm to tap out.

Winner: AJ Styles

Daniels and Kazarian come into the ring to celebrate with AJ and he plays along for a bit before laying both of them out. AJ and Storm have a staredown and AJ walks off as Aces & Eights rush the ring and beat the crap out of Storm. They also drag Daniels and Kazarian into the ring and beat them up too as Bully Ray stands there giving everyone orders. D-Lo pops Storm up into the Sky High as Bubba gets a microphone and asks if we know who he is and they are, then says that they are the Aces & Eights, the men responsible for destroying all their heroes, and he is the man responsible for taking out Jeff Hardy. His brothers are responsible for taking out these three pieces of trash, and the fans have no heroes left because they’re all just victims, and the one man they can blame this on is Hulk Hogan. He gives Taz a shout out by saying that they’re the reason they’re all another victim, and next week, he’s calling Hulk out to the middle of the ring so he can look him dead in the eye and tell him to his face that he’s the reason why all the heroes are nothing but victims of Aces & Eights, and when you ride with Aces & Eights (stops to take a shot at Storm), you never walk alone.