WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
HELL IN A CELL
THE NEW DAY (c) vs. THE USOS
It will be Xavier Woods and Big E representing the New Day inside the cell as Kofi Kingston is locked out on the outside. It’s pure chaos from the start as all four go under the ring to grab an assortment of weapons. They start swinging wildly with kendo sticks as Big E has a chain that he wraps around his fist. Bodies are flying everywhere as the Usos hit dives outside of the ring crashing into the cage. E goes flying through the ropes doing his signature spear off the apron, sending everyone hard into the steel.
Apparently there’s an entire orchestra under the ring. Woods gets Francesca II and literally breaks the trombone over one of the Uso’s back. There’s a second trombone (Frencesca III?) which he uses to do the same thing, as the crowd chants “one more time”. Big E looks like a kid in a candy shop as he keeps taking musical equipment including a cowbell and a literal gong, which Woods uses to comedically beat down the challengers.
Eventually the Usos mount a comeback and brutally assault both of the champions with a series of kendo stick shots. Woods takes a running Rikishi-style splash into the corner of the cage and looks shaken up. E tries to fight back but can’t hold up to the numbers game. Jimmy runs the apron but runs into a massive urinage slam off the apron, into a backstabber from Woods on the floor! The New Day drags his body back in the ring and connects with the Midnight Hour, but his brother is back to make the save at the last second.
The champions continue their assault on Jey now, as they smash him into the cage and literally build him into a prison of kendo sticks that they weave through the walls of the cell. Absurd. With one of the challengers out of the way they turn back to Jimmy, laying him out with a shot from the steel steps. Jey is able to get free eventually and saves his brother, connecting with superkicks to the champions. He gets a head of steam and goes flying through the ropes, sacrificing himself into the steel to take everyone down yet again. Big E is taken back into the ring and takes not one, but two top rope splashes from both of The Usos, but somehow it’s not enough to put him away.
A pair of handcuffs is introduced with E being locked to the bottom rope, and a second comes out as Woods is tied to the ring post. The Usos take turns whipping Xavier with kendo stick shots as Kofi Kingston looks on helplessly from the outside of the cage. The challengers go crazy with dozens of shots from the kendo sticks, but Big E is back and he is PISSED OFF. At some point he had broken the handcuffs with his bare hands and has a crazy, enraged look on his face. E picked up the brothers and slammed them into the cage over and over again. He hit the Big Ending on Jimmy but somehow the Uso kicked out.
The numbers game was too much and they started lighting up the big man with a half dozen superkicks each. They hit a second series of top rope splashes, but this time Woods is back to make the last-second save. Xavier still has his hands cuffed together. They start blasting him with kendo stick shots, but the champion goes crazy on them with rights and lefts as best as he can. Again, the numbers game was too much and Woods ends up going down. He slaps Jey in the face in a move of defiance, knowing there’s nothing he can do, and recives a steel chair for his trouble. The Usos climb opposite ropes and hit splashes on Woods through a chair, and finally that’s enough to end this match.
Winners and New Champions: The Usos